Active listening
A communication technique to share the burden, the receiver takes the initiative to understand what the emitter wants to transmit.
- Active Listening is a proactive approach to communication.
- You have to observe the person communicating to feel if the words agree with the body language and the tone of voice.
- As you engage in the conversation, the other person may open up and be more forthcoming when you ask questions and show that you are paying attention.
Steps in the process are:
- Be attentive: pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues
- Ask open-ended questions, those that require people to elaborate beyond yes or no
- Ask probing questions to check meanings and interpretations
- Request clarifications
- Paraphrase to double-check your understanding
- Identify and reflect the other person’s feelings (“mirroring”)
- Summarise your understanding and explicit the next steps (who does what?)
In the book Never Split the Difference former FBI agent Chris Voss talks about the importance of getting “in sync” with the other person.
He used to be a hostage negotiator and someone’s life usually depended on him getting in the mind of the attacker.
He talks about the importance of mirroring your counterpart words and tone of voice to create a bond between you, a bond to build trust.
Tip: Active listening is a key skill for you in a negotiation as it helps you gauge what is really important to the other party.
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